I was a total pain in the bum for ironing a nice crease down the front of my brain, or reacting a certain way to certain things and reinforcing that on a regular basis – just like ironing your flares in the 70s!
Being empathic, I have always been super sensitive to lots of things. Feeling like the butt of everyone’s jokes even if I wasn’t, taking it to heart if someone said something bad about me, feeling worried if they were quiet or didn’t smile at the right time or say the right thing….. It must be me right? The “normal” response for me was to apologise for EVERYTHING.
Literally, I would apologise for things that I couldn’t even control and eventually I realised it was losing me friends because it was not only annoying to them, they also just didn’t know how to relate to me. They couldn’t get how I was taking on the cares of the world onto my shoulders. Neither them nor I knew I was an Empath at that time and that my ACD (Apologising Compulsively Disorder 😉 ) was a result of this.
One day, I just decided to challenge myself to try and stop. So I developed this wrist holding pattern interrupt that I would do whenever I felt the need to apologise. I would say under my breath “stop” and then just take a nice deep breath and think about what I was about to apologise for and whether it was necessary. Turns out it wasn’t most of the time and I’m sure that’s the case for most of us.
The first time I did it, it felt really strange. Like I was making everything worse by not apologising. Like, for some reason, I was even being a little bit arrogant for not taking on the responsibility myself. But the more I breathed into it, the easier it became.
When I found Tapping 7 years ago, I then realised I could short cut this process or any equivalent thing I was going through that I wanted to change.
The easiest thing I found was simply to tap on how I felt right there in that moment until the tapping released the serotonin and dopamine and my body started to relax.
Once you relax and you are not in FFF mode (flight, fight or freeze mode) you become more resourceful and can think through what just happened or why you are feeling like you should apologise, or whatever is going on that you want to change. And it worked SO well, I applied it to everything that I was trying to work on and change in myself. Don’t get me wrong, there is still tons of stuff to work through but I am so happy that I started to do this because it made my life, and that of those around me no doubt, so much easier and less uptight!
I thought today I would include a little tapping round for you in this blog to help any of you who are stuck in repeating patterns. It goes a little something like this –
Something happens that you want to change your reaction to
Gently grasp one wrist with the opposite hand and say “stop”
Take a nice deep belly breath and let the breath rise up from your belly, into your chest then up into the collarbones area….. then let it go back the way it came……
Then start to tap….
Side of Hand – Even though I’m feeling triggered right now, and I know I am just reacting from a place of habit, I choose to let my body relax fully
Side of Hand – Even though I normally react a certain way when this happens, and it feels alien to try and stop myself, I’m going to choose to support myself anyway
Side of Hand – Even though I know I am often stuck in this response out of habit, I know that I can start to make changes and I choose to love myself through this right now
Eyebrow – this habit of mine
Outer Eye – i always seem to respond this way
Under Eye – and it feel weird to stop myself
Under Nose – this feels really strange to me
Chin – part of me feels justified
Collarbones – in reacting this way
Under Arm – but part of me knows
Top of Head – that this is just a pattern
Eyebrow – this habit
Outer Eye – all these sensations in my body
Under Eye – i feel a bit in limbo
Under Nose – i don’t know how to react now
Chin – what am I supposed to say
Collarbones – what am i supposed to think
Under Arm – i don’t know who I am without this pattern
Top of Head – no idea what to do next
Eyebrow – this pattern
Outer Eye – what if this tapping is changing it
Under Eye – right now
Under Nose – I’m starting to feel calmer
Chin – just by doing the tapping
Collarbones – so maybe there is another way
Under Arm – another way I can react here
Top of Head – maybe I can CHOOSE my response!
Eyebrow – what do I want to happen next?
Outer Eye – what would feel a little better in my body?
Under Eye – what would feel like a better feeling thought?
Under Nose – Allowing my body the space to feel into this
Chin – allowing the peaceful space to expand
Collarbones – and fill my body and mind now
Under Arm – from this place I choose the better feeling thought
Top of Head – and I create new positive patterns for myself
Take a nice deep breath now, how do you feel?
If you prefer to watch this on a video, you can grab it here.
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